Category Archives: That feeling

A form of freedom


First ride of the year. I haven’t had proper time, and the battery was out.

I giggled like a school girl inside my helmet.

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Stupid humans


You can’t change history, but you can learn from it. 

Why does it seem like we are moving backwards in time and are on the brink of repeating some of the worst chapters in history? 

God, the human race is its own worst enemy! 


«Hurts To Be Different» – Mayim Bialik 


I don’t have a PhD (sadly), and I don’t think the nerds and geeks of the world will embrace me without a thorough interrogation to find out exactly my capacity in terms of nerdiness and geekiness.

I am what I like to call a person who might not be A4, but I’m not half bad at fitting in that piece of paper anyway. 
I had hoped that in time I would grow out of the feeling of not really fitting. I think I have. But sometimes i get offhand comments that I am over thinking things, too this or too that. I know I can be annoying. More often than not, I really don’t mean to. It’s just the way I am. I’m hardly ever showing off, because all my tricks are really not that great or are totally missing the audience. 

This video resonates with me, and I would have loved it if it didn’t. Or would I? 

It’s a funny feeling, not liking oneself, and yet being perfectly happy in oneself. 

I have grown to like myself and accept myself, but it is hard to be myself around other people. 

Why is it so? 

Maybe I’m a bit different after all? 


I can’t sleep


I want nothing more than to drift off to a peaceful, dreamless sleep. That would be absolutely heaven! 

I can’t, though. My head is full of thoughts. Some quite troubling, others just buzzing. 

Oh, I just want peace! 


Scraped shin (with pic)


What’s summer without a scraped shin?

I’m ready to do drastic things to my leg now. It’s been throbbing and stinging relentlessly for the past four hours. I fell asleep, but an sms woke me up and I’m absolutely and utterly unable to sleep. Even with painkillers! 

How do I give my shin a hot saline bath without filling a tub (which I don’t have)?

I want to sleep! And grow my skin back quickly without stupid bacteria messing up the process. 

Oh, I think the painkillers are kicking in! 

Quite fresh and not hurt hinges nearly as much as today!


New level of stupidity


Usually, I’m baffled by other people’s stupidity. 

This time, it’s my own. 

I don’t fear many things in life, and not all the things I fear are worth being afraid of. However, I have an innate scepticism towards apiaceae in general and  water hemlock in particular.

The trouble is to tell the different species apart. The worst is that a mistake might kill you. I’m not a great philosopher, and I would prefer not to die by hemlock, thank you. 

Anyway, I have been trying to be a righ little nosey botanist these past few weeks. I’ve discovered quite a few plants in the overgrown parts of my garden, and on my way home from work. This lead me to wanting to tell those apiaceas apart. After all, it might come in handy. So on my way home from work, I picked at least five different specimens to look at when I came home. And I did. A bit with gloves, a bit without.

As I’ve mentioned, water hemlock is one of my greatest fears. The newspapers were full of warnings when I grew up, and I’ve been terrified of eating something I accidently thought was something edible, just to discover I was beyond help a couple of hours later. So I never ate plants I didn’t know (after mum made three-year-old me purge the laburnum I was happily gnawing on. )

And late last night I put my finger in my mouth and started to clean the nail with my teeth. It had an unusual taste, and I spat it out immediately. The next three hours I spent spitting and gurgling (not swallowing once, mind you), waking my brother to keep an eye on me in case I started to convulse  (poor fellow!) And in general work myself up to a mild panic. 

Of course nothing happened. I went through the samples once more, and I’m positive there was no water hemlock there. Or hemlock.

Being such a whimp, and a clumsy and careless one at that, I really should keep my hands off plants I don’t know. At least unless I wear gloves at all times while handling them. And I should keep my fingers out of my mouth. Gran always told me my hands should stay out of my face. Maybe she was right. Not because of pimples, but because maybe I can’t be trusted with my own health. 

Stupid Emu!


I want summer love


Not necessarily for me, although that would be fun, but certainly for at least four people I know. I could up that to ten, too.

Midsummer is closing in, and I’m in a hopelessly romantic mood. I think that might be why I detest midsummer. 


Good night! 


The birds are up, and I’m off to bed with a smile on my face and a can of Urge in my stomach. Good afternoon, evening and night! 


Não me deixes à porta da escolar – Luisa Sobral


I love this song, and this would have been me back when. If I could write a song about it.
And here is the google translate version, with a few alterations:

Do not leave me at the school door
They will stay watching
And I am a discreet girl
I like entering without anyone noticing
You can stay across the street.
Where no one sees you
And so they think I came by bus
Or maybe even walked
But you also do not call me
The names of the house
These are just for us
I’m  Maria at school
Mimi is only for grandparents

And so coming to an end
I ask the most important
Back to doing everything the same
When I’m already big
But until then do not call me
The names of the house
These are just for us
I’m  Maria at school
Mimi is only for the grandparents.

END


A day in my life


Today I’m having a long day. First, I’m going to work for eight hours, and then it’s off to the theatre for rehearsals.

09:00

Sitting at my desk, doing this and that, writing, talking on the phone. 

View from my desk. And my fibonacci spiral.

11:00

Lunch! Absolutely necessary at this point. 

12:00

Meeting. It’s cold and I’m hugging my cup of coffee. When in not writing, talking or taking a photo of it. 

My coffee

15:30

I’ve just order my sushi dinner and am on the bus travelling downtown. 

Waiting for the bus

The wheels on the bus go round and round

The hospital

16:05

Dinner time!

17:20

Queuing for mic

18:00

New, wet shoes

18:58

Ready for action

19:30

Food, water, new costume

19:56

Patiently waiting for my great entrance


20:40

15 minutes break!

Makeup between scenes

An empty stage

Newly sharpened pencil, ready for audition scene!

21:38

Relaxing between scenes

22:40

Off with the makeup!

22:47

Breathing fresh air again!

23:07

Hitting the shower

23:34

Feeding Little Black Missy twice.

23:36

Don’t let the bed bugs bite!


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