I’m going to take you on a journey into my rather unedited notes. I’m sitting in a car, waiting for another car, and I have to pass the time.
The first part is direct taken from my notebook ( about ten handwritten pages), and then we’ll see about the rest.
The red headed beauty pivoted and looked into his emerald orbs.
‘Would you like a cup of coffee? ‘
He nodded and put his left leg over his right knee, as he put his chin in his hand and stared mesmerized at her hourglass figure.
Does this look familiar to anybody?
It’s not a secret that I read a lot. I read more or less everything, as long as it’s written in an alphabet I’m more or less able to decipher.
Eii saa peittää, shampoo ja hoitoaine, sukkerfrie flødebolsjer, sokeriton kermakaramelli, sockerfria gräddkarameller, caramelos de mantequilla y nata sin azúcar con edulcorantes…
In short, I love words and languages and what they are able to do. Words have power. Words are power. What kind of power? All kinds of power, both good and bad.
The words I want to write about today, are words I read a lot. In fanfiction. Sometimes they pop up in novels too, and then I’m starting to wonder if I’m reading a fanfiction turned novel, or if the author has been reading or writing fanfiction, or if it’s just a coincidence.
The opening “quote” is not a quote at all. It’s me trying to write in a fanfictionesque way.
Nothing gives me more pleasure (oh well, let’s pretend, at least) than reading great descriptions; descriptions about how people feel, how they behave, how a scenery is, the whole shebang. And yet, these brilliant little pieces of writings are few and far between.
There is one fanfiction I’ve read and, to a certain degree, re-read, because of the brilliant insight and description of the main character. The story is well written, and by far the longest I’ve ever read. Last I checked, it was about 1,2 million words. Massive! The main issue I have with this story is that is a tad repetitive, and it feels like a lack of forward thrust, if I can call it that. I would never comment on this story, just because my comments may throw a spanner in the works of this giant machinery. The writer has, in my opinion, insight in every aspect she (I assume it’s a she. I can’t remember the username on top of my head, but the whole story screams “female”. If it’s a male, I’m gobsmacked) writes about. Were this to be published, lots and lots of words and passages would be edited out because they’re unnecessary for the story as a whole. I don’t think I would ever be able to write something like that.
I’ve written and completed one fanfiction. Some like it, some hate it, but hardly anybody has read it.
English is my second language, and I’m not as proficient as I would like. Not being native in a language means that those little nuances go amiss, and I might use cliches that would make an Englishman gag, or I might try to be funny and translate some of my native idioms into English, just for kicks. They may work, they may go down like a lead balloon in a tea cosy. This also means that I might really enjoy something that looks absolutely bizarre to an English native.
I saw somewhere on YouTube that especially the German words Flusspferd and Nashörner were made fun of by English speakers. Literally, they translate to river horse and nose horn. Which is hippopotamus and rhinoceros, shortened hippo and rhino. With a bit more education, those people laughing would know that they usually call these animals “horse” and “nose”. Yeah. Hippo is Greek for horse potamus [is derived from potamos, meaning river, “horse of the river”] Rhinoceros is also Greek and means nose-horned. Funny, yeah? That’s how humans build language. That’s why every foreigner is more prone to swear in their second (and third and fourth and so on) language than in their mother tongue.
I know that fuck and cunt are almost as bad as it gets. And wanker too. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid saying them. Repeatedly. My brain knows the severity of these swear words, but my heart doesn’t feel it. Shit is another marvellous word. In my native language, it would not qualify as a swear word, was it not for English influence. I use this frequently if things don’t go according to plan. If I want to swear, but don’t sound so harsh, I use foreign words. Although, Scheiße is in my personal opinion a harder word than shit. Go figure.
Everybody thinks their native swearing is the most powerful. I think that’s because our first language is actually defining who we are. It gives us our identity. And apropos identity; we are so closely related to our own language that it should be punishable by law to deny people to speak and learn their own language.
I’ve always had my own language, but due to unfortunate choices made by others, I lack a suitable vocabulary for things in the pants department. Not because of the things these words describe, but because the words I got as a very small child, was words nobody else but my closest of family would use. In the real world, as a three-year old, I realised I had no words for anything but peeing. Imagine my relief when I discovered words like penis, anus, rectum and vulva. It’s a very peculiar thing to feel ashamed of the words themselves and not the objects.
I heard some time ago, that employees are prohibited from speaking any other language than English in certain areas in England. This might be wrong. I’ve heard in my own country that people want to prohibit speaking other languages during lunch break. How is that going to make anything good?
If you take my language, and say I’m just to speak English from here on, I would be devastated. Not because I wouldn’t be able to do it, but because you are not letting me be who I am, all of me. The same goes for thoughts, sexual preferences, religion, everything that makes up a person’s mind.
When Snow White and Charming wanted to get rid of Emma’s magic in Once Upon a Time, I felt like I was watching these parents who say “Oh, I love you, but just don’t love the gay in you!”
Fuck you!! (Look, I used it. It’s the best words for these situations, although not by far the worst in my personal vocabulary)
So, there you have my unedited thoughts, directly from the notebook. I see why I need to edit my texts, because one thought takes the next, and then they wander off in a direction I didn’t think of in the first place.
At second read-through, I’m also questioning my language, and this is the part where I check every potentially odd sentence that would not pass for English syntax.
This is all for now. The car is on the road, and it’s here before long.