R.I.P. Neko


God, I don’t want to come home today.

I recieved a phone from a vet I don’t know, concerning my cat Neko.
Of course she was run over by a car.
And dead.
And I feel a bit dead inside.
And guilty for letting her stay outside.
And I’m afraid I’m going to see the spot they ran her over.

But the fact is, she was always a liability in the traffic, and not even a year old yet. This could have happened any other day. Tomorrow, or yesterday. Or maybe never. And I couldn’t have prevented it any more. Actually, she could have been waiting at the door like any other day when I came home. But she won’t. I’ll be taking her home in a box I’m not going to open, because they didn’t think I should see her in that state.

All I want to do is to cry over my little cat, and sniff her behind the ears again and let her wrestle my hands. And I can’t. Because she’s not here. And I hate it.

God, I hate this day!

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